Sunshine of your love

Sunday, October 10, 2010

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Love lives in all of us.

We love our pets, our families, our friends, our boyfriends, our girlfriends, our books, our schools, our cars; really you can find love in everything. But because we love it does that mean we have to trust it? Sure trust and love should go hand in hand, but most of the time they don’t. If you trusted people like you loved them, with all your heart and soul, no one would have any secrets. No one would keep anything to themselves or try to help themselves, they would just confide in their love. Love and trust both have different velocities. You can love and trust people to a limit and different people have different limits. There are some things that I wouldn’t want to know from my loved one, I wouldn’t want to hear their brutal honesty on every single little thing, I wouldn’t want to hear about every single one of their problems, sure it may be cruel but I wouldn’t want them to be reliant on me.

People need to live for themselves.

They need to be able to breathe on their own and do what they want without someone always looking over their shoulder. I don’t trust everyone I love, and I know other people that are the same. Maybe we are the minority, maybe we are the fucked up one’s that don’t know what trust is, we sure don’t know what love is and I don’t think anyone truly does. Everyone has their own opinion of what love is, how far the person you love can go until you realise they aren’t worth loving anymore. Some people don’t deserve love at all, well in my opinion anyway. If they can’t appreciate the person who loves them with all their heart, they don’t deserve love at all... or until they learn how to love back.

I don’t understand love at such a young age.

Children, teenagers, anyone under the age of 50, I don’t know how they can say they love each other. Children I believe can’t understand love at all, they only love their parents because they have to and their parents have only done what their animal instinct has told them, procreate and then raise the offspring. It’s the same out in Africa with the Lions, the mother raises the cubs and then they leave. Parents are only doing the same, they raise their children, and then they leave. Teenagers get confused with love and infatuation. Sure you may have strong feelings for them but you don’t know what love actually is, you are only guessing. You have not been alive long enough to grasp the concept of love, you are living a fantasy. True love takes time to accomplish. True love is accomplished when you have spent your lives together, trusting each other, raising your children, seeing your grandchildren grow and develop together, all the while learning about the other person and loving both their positive and negative qualities. Think of your grandparents, do they need to express their love to each other? Do they embrace or kiss each other goodbye? If the answer is no, like it is for my grandparents, I believe this is because they know when they get back, their love will always be there. They trust that, that special person will be there even if it’s in spirit, or their memories that they’ve shared. I hope that one day I will be like my grandparents, trusting and loving each other, respecting each other and their beliefs.

Love is a struggle, let’s face it together.

Some people are afraid to love, they are afraid to trust. I know I am, I’m afraid to trust people. I’m afraid I’ll get hurt. There is no actual reason for this, you know like for some people it’s because their parents abused them or they had a frightening childhood, thing is I didn’t. I had a normal childhood, I went on holidays, I participated in my favourite sports, I wasn’t lonely, I excelled in school, I had pets, I had parents who loved me, family members, friends. The only thing I can guess it has come from is the stories my mother told me about her abusive first husband (not my dad). Throughout my life I will learn that I can trust people, friends, family, boys, but no one should expect me to now.

Stay excellent.


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