Blehhh

I hate how my days generally start out mediocre then progressively get worse.
Take today for example, I got up early got all the stuff I needed doing, done. I got to see my school friends then successfully studied for 3 hours straight which is a rare thing for me.
Then it went down hill. I really do hate being in constant pain, it's a real downer on my mood. Of course my body failed me again in the form of my knee trying to dislocate itself for no reason, resulting in the 80 percent chance that I have broken my foot.
Oh the joy.
Hopefully tomorrow will bring better luck and hopefully a better mood.

I'm most definitely a head case

Although my confusion is still firmly in place, at least it has kinda, sorta been dealt with.

But...I finally said it, what I've been thinking for weeks and I do feel good about that. It needed to be out in open and it needed to be heard by someone, anyone and now it has.

Still.. in our meeting which I'm not sure was the best idea, I did get confused more. I finally understood and could put words as to what I was confused, angry and frustrated about in the first place but you, my dear friend did nothing to try and make it any easier.... by then confusing me some more.

I really, really don't want to know the context of the potential drunk texts coming my way this weekend.

I just have no idea what I am doing anymore...

Distance

I really do have a great skill in royally messing things up with everyone I get close to...
It's just one of those many life skills that I wish I didn't have to have.
It would be nice if I was allowed to get close to someone at some stage in my life.

Oh the joys

Someone teach me to fly

I know that I'm a head case.
My behaviour is erratic, my words hard and direct and I'm not exactly the nicest person to be around sometimes, but... that's me.
I can't change and I refuse to become this shell of a person because society asks me to be.
I'm not fake and pretentious, I'm not made of plastic or silicone, I'm a real, living, breathing person.
You can beat me and abuse me with your simple mind, but I will conquer all.
I will overcome the hurdles you place in my path with your stupid actions and absurd ideals.
I will leap and fly and soar past the patheticness of this life that I am forced to live in and become the person I want to be, not the person you want to make me.
You can't weigh me down.

I will beat this.. 

A Poetic Mess

The lost are searching,
They are trying to find a way home
But the invisible creature is holding them back.
They struggle and fight,
They will never win on their own.
Their fingers grow bloody as they claw at the sand
Fighting against the looming tide.
But the wave has caught them
There is no escaping now,
The water is swallowing them whole
Drowning out their pleas of help,
With the peaceful sound of breaking waves.

Untitled.

To me, education is one of the most important things in life. I believe if someone is given the chance to have an education they should take it. If someone is given an opportunity that so many others aren't, they should take it in a heartbeat. This is where my friends and I differ. They value other things like socialising over their education. Sure, sure a little of both is healthy but some times I just get so frustrated when people can't see past their little bubble they are in and see the bigger picture. There is a whole world out there just waiting for you to make a splash and there you are not attending class or school, for what? So you can stay home with your boyfriend? Or getting bad grades because you are too busy texting during class or passing notes to the person next to you?

How about think about all those other kids our age who are not as privileged? The ones who are living in slums or ghettos. The one's who can't afford an education. The ones who are dying from AIDs and malnutrition and there you are, giving up an opportunity that they would die for. They would love to be in your shoes, but no all you can see if the now, you can't see past yourself.

Bleh.